Happy Valentine’s Day, beautiful!
Show your hands some love…
by playing a handheld!
Nintendo isn’t afraid to goof around with its mascot characters, throwing them around from genre to genre and seeing what sticks. Mario is best described by the titles he hasn’t held; he’s been a Doctor, a referee, a golfer, a tennis player, and a teacher (my keyboard skills certainly improved). As Nintendo has said, it’s a way for the company to experiment, while still keeping that wide appeal its creations have. The formula works, and we’ve received many great games from this dabbling.
But I’d argue that none adhere to these changes as well as Kirby. While Mario appears to be a jack of all trades, I don’t feel his forays into golf, tennis and the party scene are intrinsically ‘Mario’. They’re quality games, for sure, but a proper Mario adventure isn’t just about Chain-Chomps and Super Mushrooms. Throwing a warp pipe on a golf course doesn’t nail what makes Mario special.
The internet has this crazy way of concealing itself as popular opinion. I’ve been duped into thinking I’m some sort of weirdo when it comes to Pokémon.
It’s a feeling I’ve had for a long time now, this notion that I don’t care ‘enough’ about these pocket monsters. Am I a fairweather fan, showing up every couple of years for the launch of Pokémon games with a Ghastly shirt and a replica Ash Ketchum hat? When I say I love the Pokémon games am I…am I full of shit?
Probably not. It took way too long to realize, but I think this fascination with breeding and Generation favouritism is discussed upon a vocal minority. Turns out, I don’t need to be ashamed of not knowing any Pokémon names beyond the original 151. Or was it 152? Bah, who cares, I’m free of the shackles that held me as a ‘lesser’ fan!
I’d like to think that the damaged goods you’re about to see ended up that way for reasons beyond my control. Sure, I may have made odd decisions that led to their destruction, but it was all very indirect. Well, I say that but I somehow still stay up at night trying to wash this blood from my hands…and it just won’t come off. Two, count ’em TWO Game Boy Advances have fallen victim to these godforsaken hands of mine.
Whoa, am I committing to a regular feature every Thursday? Hardly. But, I’m certainly willing to try! Welcome to Throwback Thursday, the day where I talk about something old, and possibly yell at you to get off my lawn.
Released in 1997 for the Game Boy, Mole Mania was one of those Nintendo made games that never ‘caught on’. Put simply, Muddy Mole never achieved the same stature as Nintendo’s more revered franchises. Hell, Pit stands a better chance of being recognized, and 99% of people will call him Kid Icarus. Uni-browed protagonists was not what the people were craving at the time.
But with box art like that, who could muster enough interest to bother playing it? Who wants to play as a protagonist that looks that clueless?
During my time away (not prison, just a week long vacation), I drew a little something. Just for you!
“Cool,” I thought, “I hope people lik—oh lord…or lord no.”
I realized I had goofed. The Game Boy didn’t have a backlight, and even when it did, it wasn’t that murky, swamp-butt green we know and love.
“Nintendo fans are going to have my balls for this one,” I told my wife. She had no idea what I was talking about.
I raced back to the drawing board, and made some changes. Again, just for you.